I love this approach, because it gives the kids control over those two foods that they simply can’t stand (and admit it, we all have foods that we just hate). But it doesn’t allow them to decide on a whim that they “hate” a food that they ate happily last week.

So, my MIL did have to keep their “hated” foods in mind while she was preparing meals, which could be challenging (my BIL hates onions, for example), but it also showed that she respected each child as an individual who has valid likes and dislikes.

We don’t do a “one-bite rule” anymore because as in the case of Robin above, our son would panic, choke, gag, etc. It made dinnertime a nightmare for us. Also “disguises” generally don’t work for him, as he is way too suspicious of sauces, pies, smoothies, etc. He will only eat simple foods. I know that these strategies work well for a lot of kids though. I love your suggestions #1 and #2 above, and of course #4 is essential. Emphasizing breakfast more makes so much sense to me.

Also I wanted to second/third/fourth/whatever the suggestion to read Ellyn Satter’s books. She has not made my son a good eater (though he is a much, MUCH better “tryer”), but she has changed my perspective, and given me some strategies that I can feel confident about. It’s so much easier to have patience when you have confidence. She also helped me realize that we parents often fail to see the progress as it happens. For a very picky eater like my son, his allowing a rejected food to be nearby is progress. His smelling it or touching it is progress. That’s why some kids need so many exposures; for them, learning to like new foods is a long process involving many steps. Now my son knows (and we do too) that he is not hopeless; he is learning to eat new foods, very very slowly but surely.

Thanks again for all the great tips and discussion!

Great thoughts.