Musings on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is particularly poignant this year as I’m basking in the warm rays of new motherhood. Clara still carries the newborn look about her, and utters those precious little squeaks while fast asleep and produces content coos when engaged face to face.

The wonder of her birth and arrival is still fresh in my memory, but fresher still is loss, as last Friday, at the age of 91, my grandmother passed away peacefully.

Today my mum will be marking her first Mother’s Day without her own mother, Baba to us grandchildren, and Babka to Clara. This isn’t meant to be sad (I believe it was my Baba’s time, however difficult it was to hear of her passing),  but more of an observation of the passing of generations. It’s only natural to contemplate the seasons of motherhood when the eldest in the family tree leaves this earth within weeks of the arrival of the youngest little girl.

As my grandmother probably did with my mother and my aunt, I try to imagine Clara as a mother. It’s hard, but I can dimly see her; I know she will mother a new generation, someday. Will she reflect me and the women in the family who have gone on before her? One would hope so  – especially their finer qualities.

I unearthed a photo of myself as a newborn yesterday; there aren’t may photos of me in the early days, in fact I used to tease my parents that I was adopted because of the lack of them. In the image,I’m not more than a few days old and my grandmother is holding me while I sleep, swaddled.

What is most remarkable about the photo, however, is my striking resemblance to Clara. The Aimee of 33 years ago and my daughter could be the same baby. For some reason, that makes me want to be a better person. If she’s going to take after me, then I want her to emulate the very best of me.

I read a lot of moving posts around the web this week on motherhood and they’ve all been churning in my head, two in particular.  Cheryl wrote how the loss of her mother motivated her to follow her dreams and life of creativity and passion, and in an honest post, Jenna confesses that she often questions her mothering abilities. I guess I’m not the only one cogitating this Mother’s Day.

In a similar way to Cheryl and Jenna, we all wonder at one point or another if we are making our mother – and our kids- proud.

So despite everything I’ve mentioned above -grief, contemplation, self-worth- thankfulness is still the prominent emotion I’m feeling this Mother’s Day. I feel very fortunate to have three healthy children- Noah, Mateo, and our littlest, Clara. They make me laugh dozens of times a day with their quirky questions, and bring tears to my eyes time and time again with their tender words and gestures.

Blessed beyond measure.

Mother’s Day seems like the perfect time to share a few photos of our sweetheart, Baby Clara. My friend and Montreal photographer, Angela Chin, did an amazing job of capturing Clara at just one week old. She is such a little light in our home already, and we can see her happy disposition evolving before our eyes.

Here’s wishing a Happy Mother’s Day to all my readers who are mothers, young or old.

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22 Comments

  1. Happy mother’s day Aimee. Clara is so precious. I’m also very sorry for your loss.

    I really enjoyed your thoughts on motherhood. I don’t have children yet, but I often think about family and the passing of tradition. It’s so important to remember past generations, and the lessons they have taught us. It’s these traditions that make each family unique in their own way.

    Food is such a crucial part of the family unit. My grandmother was a great cook, but she cooked from her head. When she died, her recipes went with her. This often makes me think about the importance of food blogging for our generation and future ones.

    The recording of thoughts and recipes are not only meant for sharing today, but will be there for our future generations. I want my future children to one day say “remember mum’s homemade (whatever), it was so good! We should make it”. I don’t want my kids to remember their youth through frozen pizza and fast food.

    Anyway, those are some of my thoughts on motherhood. I hope you have a great day with your beautiful family!

    1. How right you are, Kris, I’ve come to appreciate my blogs just for that very fact. Having a blog is a good discipline for actually writing down the recipes, and thus, preserving them for future generations.

      Thank you for you comment!

  2. Beautiful musings and a happy and beloved Mother’s Day to you. At 91 your Grandmother left this life to forever be happy and loved on the Other Side.

  3. Happy Mother’s Day! You have a cute and adorable baby. Clara is much lucky to have a loving mother! I love your photos..they are so beautiful!

  4. Beautiful post Aimee. I especially loved this…”They make me laugh dozens of times a day with their quirky questions, and bring tears to my eyes time and time again with their tender words and gestures”. It’s the little things, isn’t it?

    Your grandmother sounds like a wonderful role model. I often think of the traditions that were sewn through our family from both sides of my family and I hope that the strength of both my mom and both grandmothers will be passed on through me.

    Have a great week. Thanks for all your posts. And Happy (belated) mother’s day.

  5. What a lovely post Aimee and a bittersweet memory of my very similar story many years ago. We lived in North Carolina when my first child Emily was born and the rest of my family in St. Louis. My paternal grandmother Lizette (Emily’s middle name) died before we got back to visit with our new baby. She lived a wonderful and long life, passing when she was 94 so though I will miss her forever, I was only sad that she had not met her great-granddaughter.

    Your daughter is beautiful and your sense of the importance of motherhood even more so; thank you for sharing.

  6. Belated Happy Mothers Day Aimee! I wish you all the best in life. I really adore you for having a very adorable baby. Thanks for sharing these lovely photos with us.

  7. Happy belated Mother’s Day! What a sweet and moving post.

    I’m so sorry for your loss. My grandfather passed away a few days after I told my family I was expecting my first. My aunt continues to call my daughter “the window” as in “when God closes one door, he opens a window.” I think the timing, while sad, was very fitting of the next generation’s arrival.